6 months later

Today, for the first time since receiving them all, I got the nerve to look through our wedding photos.

Ever since our big day, I have found the subject of our wedding very uncomfortable. The topic makes my shoulders lift and my neck muscles tighten. I guess this is normal though, just some remaining jitters still fizzling out.

But I have this idea that maybe if I share some photos and some stories and thoughts that go along with them, it will help to ease my discomfort and hopefully cause a few smiles.

When I think of the wedding, I can't help but think of all the tiny things I wish I had said or done differently, and of all the loved ones that I didn't get to spend time with. I can't bear the thought, and yet can't help but worry, that through something we did or didn't do, we may have disappointed one of our beloved guests.

And then there are the memories. Infused within everything and everyone there, they pile one on top of each other, sending out strings and connections and forming a thick and tangled web.

These flowers. Every arrangement stuck together by Sally, Rachel, Mrs. Blume, my mother and me. Some we ordered, others we cut: the tupelo tree by our top gate, the gardenia bush, queen anne's lace from Rachel's yard and greenery from Sally's, Mimi's hydrangea bushes and Uncle Mark's alphias. Unknowingly, I incorporated the national flower (and its leaves) of South Korea into the bouquets. Although the blooms were so delicate many wilted before the big event.

I put so much thought into the flowers themselves, yet I barely bothered to check how many arrangements I actually needed. I remember hastily counting on my fingers while we were making them, then calling out a number, more concerned with form and variety than headcount. The day of the wedding, we ended up being a few short.

The Stuck family made that gorgeous cake and its delectable edible mushrooms, as well as those warmly glowing string lights up the banister. So many family members and friends chipped in and created marvelous things. I remember pointing out details like these throughout the night, mostly softly saying them to Isaac and myself, like some recurring mantra of comfort.

The cocktail hour we never saw. Tasty appetizers provided so generously by Isaac's aunt and uncle. I remember having lunch with his aunt at that restaurant twice, once after Isaac moved to Korea for his job and another time to talk with the owner about wedding appetizers. At the restaurant we saw Mr. and Mrs. Naruke, a kind couple I knew in high school who acted as parents to some of my first international classmates and friends. The rolls of kimbap are sitting upon dishes balanced and epoxied on our dining room table by Rachel and I, adhered to brass brackets fabricated by my dad from a door push plate, riveted to swan statues Sally and I pilfered from an antique mall. The same antique mall we first visited for my birthday 5.5 years ago, the day before Isaac first asked me to go on a date with him.

Memory upon memory until it's so many layers of meaning that I just have to stop thinking. Is this what it means to grow older? Your life just keeps folding back and forth on itself like pound cake batter streaming from a spatula?

Every scene from our wedding is so overflowing with meaning and memories that I cannot comprehend it all. Such happiness, gratitude and love, being given and received. Very rarely do so many dear aspects of one's life intersect. I guess our wedding was like a traffic jam of love and wonder and everything good in our lives, so of course it's hard to navigate.

My sister was unusually tired and emotional for my wedding weekend, which seemed like no surprise. And yet it had a tangible and contagious quality, girly horomones and feelings fluttering throughout our bridal party, and we all felt it. A few months later we found out Sally was pregnant, and had been at our wedding too. We didn't even know that the first of our family's next generation existed, yet already he was shaking things up.

Before this photo, Isaac and I had just met each other for our "first look". We couldn't resist peeking in to see how the set up was going, on our way to the stairwell to take some more pictures together.

That's when I noticed it - one of the centerpiece planters was dented and leaning. Do you see it? It's on the left side behind Isaac. I spent months nurturing these plants, pruning and staving off the spider mite epidemic of 2015, potting and repotting, at different points desperately enlisting the help of my noble bridesmaids. All of that work and the silver planter is crooked? I became totally distracted by this, unable to see how beautiful the reception area was and how stunning the tables looked. I put both trembling hands on the planter and tried my best to make it look normal. My mom, currently donning her event coordinator hat, reassured me that it was not a big deal and to forget about it.

Then this picture was taken. Isaac's distraught thinking face - wanting to eliminate anything that troubles me. He walked over to the planter, gave it a good Popeye pull, and with a metallic pop it became perfect, no sign or indentation of its formerly crooked self.

There must be thousands of little stories and moments from that day - some troubling and wonderful and nerve-racking and breathtaking and laughable and unforgettable. But that's how it should be, huh?

I can't think of a few pithy lines that are good enough to sum up our wedding day and everything that it meant and symbolized to us. And I don't even want to try. I'll just say this - it was a beautiful day. Because we got to share it with our beloved family and our dearest friends. And play dress up.

Let's sing!

Ever since I first thought about visiting South Korea, there is one thing that I've wanted to do above all others.

I can happily say that I have finally done it. Karaoke, or its Korean name 노래방 (no-rae-bang), which seems to roll off of the tongue easier. 

I'm not sure why it took so long. Karaoke rooms are about as prolific as coffeeshops here, and if you glance up at the sea of glowing signs for the typical multi-story business buildings, you're bound to find a few.

Below is a street just out side of our old apartment. I took this shot a while back, because it had rained and I thought it was pretty. But looking back, I saw that the karaoke place my friend and I went to is pictured here. Look at the building on the right. The bottom store, which is super bright and says "Square" is a mobile phone carrier. Above that is the karaoke room, the name is actually "Queen's Avenue song practice place". Above that is a dentist. You can see there are many things in these buildings. In the building on the left, that's a Hyundai car dealership on the ground floor, and a Chicago pizza pub just above it.

When we first walked in, for me the feeling was reminiscent of a spa. Everything was bright, clean and there is a counter and receptionist where you pay. You take your shoes off in the reception area, step up onto the raised floor and are led to your private singing room.

Two people for one hour of karaoke cost 20,000 won, around 17 dollars. But later I found out, it is customary to receive free minutes. We ended up singing for 2.5 hours without having to pay anything more.

So here was our room just as we began to settle down. The microphones are in the corner between the window and TV on a charging stand.

Here are the essential tools. 

Remote - Each song is assigned a number which you punch in using this remote. It also allows you to search the database for specific songs and artists. There are several other handy features like pitch and speed adjustment. Like when we sang a particularly low song by a male artist, we would hit the # button a few times and it would raise the song's pitch into our higher, girly range. There is some distortion to the quality, but this is karaoke after all.

Song Books - Songs are listed in alphabetical order by song title. The largest section is of course for Korean songs, then there is a sizable English section and finally recent updates listed by month. The January 2016 page, at the very back of the book, had the latest Korean Pop songs and a handful of international hits by people like Adele, Sam Smith and Justin Bieber.

Tamborines - You know what to do.

Microphones - Oops. Forgot to include those. They're important too.

 Like I said, the songs are listed in alphabetical order. Which quickly convinced me that I need to learn the order of the Korean alphabet, something I have been putting off, having deemed it unimportant. Now I have finally found a compelling reason to learn alphabetical order.

The English section has a huge variety of hits - everything from classics like the Eagles and Queen to contemporaries like Rita Ora. I was quite impressed to see the names of so many artists from every decade and almost every genre. Have a look.

And once you start singing, the lights dim, the music thumps and a colorful lights start flashing and swirling in time with the song.

We had such a fun time. In the pauses between songs, you can hear the crooning and yelling of people in nearby rooms which is a funny yet sobering realization. They can hear us too? Since we went in the afternoon, we heard teenagers, but later at night the crowd would age a bit. 

We sang a variety of English and Korean songs. Often we would pick out familiar songs in the language more foreign to us, only to discover that the other one did not know it. My friend picked out some songs by Stevie Wonder and the Beegees and had to sing solo. While I chose some Korean pop songs and ended up hitting the high notes and rapping by myself. Thankfully the remote also has a skip button.

No one interrupts you when you are in the room. It is your safe place to sing as loudly and awfully and awesomely as you wish. The small digital box beneath the TV displays the amount of minutes left. Occasionally the amount increased, as free minutes were added, but it finally ticked down to zero, the dance lights faded and the room brightened.

I didn't take any action photos of us singing. We were were too busy having fun, and I barely remembered to take these few pictures. Should I risk the embarrassment and get a few shots of us next time? Maybe drag Isaac along?

I wish they had karaoke rooms like this back home. I know there are comparable places in big cities, but it seems hard to find a comparable place for such a cheap price, and with the same safe, clean feeling.

Before I go, let's talk about snow. We had a few more snow days, enough that I have now gotten into the habit of running to the window each morning to check for flakes. There was no serious accumulation, but one snow was special because the snowflakes were large enough to easily be seen with the naked eye. I spent over an hour on our balcony trying to take pictures, hunched over my cell phone after making the disappointing discovery that the batteries of all of our dedicated cameras were dead.

One word for snowflake in Korean is 눈꽃, which is literally snow flower. I think it is such a pretty name, conveying the magical, impossible beauty and intricacy of these little frosted flakes. Or maybe I'm just a typical Southerner, never losing my excitement for the white stuff.

Moving

We did it!

The previous week, Isaac and I packed up quite a bit of stuff that we did not want the movers to handle, like small electronics, valuables and underwear. During this process, I learned to my delight that Isaac and I have the same packing style - painfully meticulous. There was this moment of recognition: I was taping a bag of half-empty pasta closed and he was folding and refolding a briefcase strap he rarely uses. Our television and plants and clothes had yet to be considered, for both of us were sidetracked by less important details.

On Moving Day's Eve, we carried two loads to our new apartment. It's a brisk 10 minute walk when you're weighed down by luggage but still eager to escape the 20 degree night.

Friday morning the movers showed up around 8:15 in the morning and went to work. They used baskets and moving blankets to wrap up and secure all of our stuff while we just kind of stood around watching and worrying.

Once packed, they shifted everything to the landing outside of our apartment. The next step, moving all of our stuff from the twelfth floor to ground level, I was a little excited about. The moving truck has a special arm with a platform on the end that stretches up to our floor and then raises and lowers its cargo. It's a sound I've grown familiar to, hearing different residents move into the buildings nearby, the long metallic sliding as it the empty platform falls down to reload.

I think this moving system is pretty neat and efficient. Probably because it is just never something I considered before moving to a big city - how to best move in and out of high apartments.

The weather was sunny and below freezing, so the whole time I was super concerned about this huge orchid we have that originally belonged to Isaac's grandmother. I kept trying to guard it and keep the movers from bumping it and leaving it outside.

After a final walk through and farewell, we reluctantly met the realtor to finalize our move out, then trudged up the road to our new place, a little less excited about the unpacking process.

This part felt the most tedious, I just wanted to kick the movers out and do it all myself. We were getting pretty hungry by this point too since it was now lunchtime, maybe that's why I felt grouchy. Finally the movers left and we were able to start rearranging things and settling in. Since the apartment is basically the same layout as before, just putting things back in their place made it look and feel so much more homey.

We grabbed a quick lunch at one of the bunshik restaurants close by. Bunshik literally means minute food so it's basically like Korean fast food or street food. I shared before about this kind of food which we ate at a market. Something about the weather being cold has us both craving bunshik more and more. Especially the fishcake on skewers in the first picture below. It's always served in a steaming hot salty broth which is just perfect for warming up during the winter. All of this food cost 10,000 won, or $8.25.

Of course, the views outside of our windows have changed. Our living room has the floor to ceilings windows once again, and we now see the almost endless towers of other apartment buildings. We try to make sure to close the blinds at night now in order to avoid giving any of our new neighbors a show.

Below is a shot out the windows on the other side, where our office, kitchen and washing machine are. This is the side that Isaac loves to hate because he can see his office, I have no clue which building it is. I think it's quite nice, even has some mountains in the background there.

Afternoon snow showers this Wednesday and Thursday helped make our new place seem more dreamy, not to mention inviting after tromping through the wet snow. Here's a panorama shot as the snow was falling.

And this is our apartment building (on the right) from the street corner. Then a view of the same street corner looking down from our balcony.

Our company/mountain view once more.

So I suppose everything is settled in once more. We happened to walk by our old apartment building this weekend just as the new residents were moving in. The tall arm of the moving truck was stretched up to the 12th floor again. It made us a little sad. That place was our first home together as a married couple, and where I met my first friends here, our old neighbors.

But our new place is growing on us. The heated floors work better, I'm not sure why, but the difference is quite noticeable. We are able to feel the heat beneath our feet and it does not make the air as dry as our previous place. The sun also rises up outside of our living room windows, so it is a treat to be able to see that each day. A new year and a new home. I hope your new year is off to a solid start too!

Ashley

Lately it's become clear that Isaac and I have a favorite restaurant.

We like this place so much, we decided to go there on Christmas Day. At 10:45 in the morning.

It's on the second floor, and here's a shot I took as we ran excitedly up the steps. We went just 15 minutes after it opened, worried that it would be too crowded. I can confidently say that we were both ecstatic about eating here.

Maybe it seems a little strange, but sure enough, as we began chomping down on our "Christmas brunch", families started piling into the place.

This restaurant is Ashley, located in the building outside of our living room window that colorfully lights up each night. It markets itself as "American Grill and Salad". The first time I visited this restaurant was last year in December 2014, when I came to South Korea over the holidays to visit Isaac. He suggested we go there for dinner.

My first impressions then were:

1. Why is it called Ashley? Shouldn't it be Ashley's?

2. It's 18,000 won per person? ($15) No way are we paying that much for an American style buffet. 

I've been to Golden Corral and it is not worth that much.

So we ordered a to-go pizza and did not eat at Ashley. Isaac was very sweet, doing just as I wanted. Maybe I overreacted because I was only visiting for a couple of weeks, and wanted to try restaurants different than home. Whatever the excuses and reasons, I was so wrong. Since that first visit last year, I've learned that the weekday lunch price is way cheaper and that even the dinner price is well worth it.

The first mistake I made was taking the restaurant at face value - being branded as an American style buffet was a negative in my book. I go back to my childhood of being a picky eater and seeing few things I like; I visualize big stacks of cafeteria trays and plastic cups.

This place has a much nicer feeling to it.

Say "cheese" pizza guys!

The decorations feature charming little bits of Americana like sports banners and classic car posters. There are also unexpected decorations, like mannequins wearing the same dress as some actress in a random television show.

We try to sit next to the window, so we can enjoy the inverse of our usual view. It is fun to gaze across the street at our apartment building there and count down from the top to the 12th floor and find our set of windows.

And of course the food is a big draw too. I only took a few pictures, but I think it's enough to give you an idea. All of the food areas are spotless and well-maintained, with a few workers constantly roving the floor talking into mouth pieces about what needs to be replenished and cleaned.

There are plenty of familiar foods - pizza, pasta, tacos - but everything is tinged for the Asian palette. Which I feel a little uncomfortable trying to describe, in case I do so badly, but I'll try. I tend to notice more complex flavors, fresh produce and less sugary or salty than what I'd get back home. Sometimes "complex flavors" just means adding in a contrasting taste to familiar foods, like ordering a cheese pizza to find sweet corn kernels scattered beneath the cheese (true story).

Below is a mixed rice bar, with all of the fix-ins to pile on top of rice to make the Korean staple bibimbap.

Below is a pretty awful picture of Isaac at the soup station, usually a crowded place. Unless, of course, you're eating Christmas brunch like us! This is a Vietnamese noodle soup (pho) bar where you fill up your bowl with noodles and bean sprouts and whatever else you want, then add the warm soup stock.

On the right is one of my favorites, the dessert fruits. Grapefruits with carmelized sugar and the tray closest the camera, popular with me and children, is a mixture of mangoes and dragon fruit in a sweet syrup.

The salad bar, which includes things most un-salad-like. I have not tried the "sweet pumpkin salad cake", maybe next time.

Isaac always ends up with one plate that looks like this.

Below there is Vietnamese noodle soup, a spicy mustard chicken and apple salad. Lots of Indian curry and rice, fried boneless chicken and gorgonzola pizza. I read somewhere that gorgonzola pizza is a specialty of Korea. Which made me think that, in fact, before coming here I had never tried it. Yet almost any restaurant here that serves pizza has a gorgonzola variety. Have you ever tried it before back home in America? Usually here the crust is super thin and light, with the mild tang of the cheese and some garlic as well.

Dessert is worth waiting for too. The beautiful black-seeded fruit is my favorite - passion fruit. It is one of the funnest and delicious things I have ever eaten. It feels almost like an exciting candy, incredibly sour and tangy at first, making your face pucker and mouth water, and then you get to crunch down on the seeds.

I know this was a lot of pictures of food, but maybe now you understand why this is one of our favorite restaurants. It has just enough familiar foods to make me comfortable, but enough variety that I get to try something new each time we go. This past time it was cinnamon nut granola made with ramen rice noodles instead of grains, and it was delicious!

Maybe it sounds a little sad to say that we took more pictures of food than of each other on our first Christmas as newlyweds. But we have this wonderful memory of our hearts pounding as Isaac and I ran across the wide city street, not wanting to miss the crosswalk light, busting through the glass doors and running up the staircase. We were just as excited as any other kids on Christmas morning, and that has to count for something.

Friday is our big moving day, so tonight is the last night we will get to watch the rainbow light show at Ashley outside of our living room window. This post seems like a fitting farewell to our most scrumptious neighbor.